When Lent Makes You Nuts

So we're midway through and frankly I think this has to be the weirdest Lenten season I have experienced to date. Granted, I am only 7 years old (converted 2 March 2008) but this one takes the cake for weird thus far.

"How weird is weird?" you ask.

Well, the season began the last week of February and immediately all kinds of snowy, icy hell broke loose. Almost all of the Clean Week services were cancelled due to the weather being bad and roads icy.

The first Sunday of Lent, called Sunday of Orthodoxy, Divine Liturgy was cancelled due to icy roads but somehow I did not get the memo that the evening Pan Orthodox vesperal services for Sunday of Orthodoxy was NOT cancelled, By the time I figured it out (that is actually read my email) services were half over and the twenty minute drive to church would have rendered it moot for me anyway.

Second week...more snow. More cancelled services. The Sunday of St Gregory of Palamas liturgy was on and I attended but somehow everything was just plain off. And let's not discuss the choir. I have no idea what happened there.

Then this week there is a soccer issue. [vent] I have no idea what it is with soccer leagues that they simply MUST schedule games before noon on a Sunday. WTH is that about anyway? I'm sorry some of us do not worship at the altar of FIFA nor make sacrifices to Messi and Ronaldo. The thing is if Yon Boy misses a game or a practice he gets penalized because soccer is the end all and be all of life. So I entered into negotiations so that my son isn't penalized because the soccer league is run by a bunch of irreligious folk who have no regard for those who actually have a conviction. Having to do that left me feeling rather hypocritical and frustrated.  And don't say find another league, they are all pretty much run by secularists and who don't give a flying fart about such things because...soccer. Trust me, I would have picked a different sport altogether. [/vent]

Yeah I said it. Don't like it? I hate it for you. Option 1: Don't read it. Option 2: Get over it.

So we are now entering the Halfway Point. Sunday of the Holy Cross and I've been pretty much expecting a volcano, or earthquake, or meteor strike or sharks falling from the sky or something equally bizarre to happen. Then a friend said, "It's just Lent being Lent. Stuff happens all the time but it doubles up during Lent." And she is right. Lent has been and will always be a time of testing and temptation, of the passions trying to supercede the virtues. But what did God say? He said we'd always be tested, always be tempted. But He said there would always be a way out of those temptations. The idea is not to let those passions distract into making excuses to sin.

The holy fathers call these idle thoughts and instincts and dispositions to sin "passions" (logismoi), and they come to the front of the mind when you are trying (under your own power) to become holy and good and sinless. Here's the thing about that...You can't. So all this stuff comes up that makes you stumble and all it is is you getting in the way of the Holy Spirit working humility and love in you.

So...how does one get through it and "move along home"? Since the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy us as we try to get home, throwing obstacles in our path and shutting doors on us as we try, how's person supposed to get from point A to point B without succumbing to some random temptation or passion and blowing up the nearest idiot's house?

The Desert Fathers had a response.

Saying number 714:

"Answer: When a logismos occurs in the soul and she [the soul] is able (by making a great effort) to expel it, another one comes and occupies her, and in this way, the soul opposing logismoi never has any time for the contemplation of God.
"Question: By what procedure can a logismos be referred to God?"
"Answer: If a logismos...comes upon you, immediately detach your mind from it and vigorously offer it up without hesitation, for hesitation is where conceding begins"
"Question: if a logismos of conceit that one has done well overcomes the soul, ought not the mind to contradict it?"
"Answer: No matter when one contradicts it, it becomes stronger and more violent. It finds more than you do to refute with, and the Holy Spirit does not supply aid to that extent. You find yourself in the situation of one who says "I am sufficient in myself to fight against the passions." Just as he who has a spiritual father casts all his concern upon him and is without care in all things and no longer in fear of judgement by God, so he who has dedicated himself to God ought not to be concerned by logismoi, to refute them or to allow them any place whatsoever to come into. And if one should get in, lift it up to your father and say "I have no trouble with this, look, here is my Father; He knows," and while you are still lifting it up half way, it has left you and is running away, for it will not be able to come to him with you. In the whole Church, there is not one activity greater than this one or more carefree."
~ (Will attribute and link when I find the citation. All I have is the quote right now.)

 Note to self. Emphasis mine.

Now I just need to remember that. I have a Spiritual Father and Godmother whom I often go to and cast my cares upon. They are my spiritual support system and have been doing this Lent crazy far longer than I have. I'll bet this year doesn't even ping on their radar.

Icon of All Saints

But as I said to my son today, we are also enjoined to pray (lift up the thought/temptation/logismoi) to God and He will remove it for us or show us how to conquer it. But we have to ask. And we are surrounded by the Great Cloud of Witnesses who are always praying to God. Why do we not ask their prayers? St Joseph is quick to hear as is the Theotokos (called She who is Quick to Hear) and the Archangel Gabriel and all the saints, known and unknown. What keeps us from asking their assistance when Lent (or any other time of the year) doesn't go according to plan?

Ummm....sloth, faint-heartedness, love of power, idle talk come to mind. Which is precisely what we ask God to remove when we pray the prayer of St Ephraim the Syrian which is the central prayer during the Lenten season. Frankly, I think it probably should be the central prayer of my personal rule all year long. If you haven't noticed, I'm somewhat of a hot mess and I readily acknowlege this fact.

O Lord and Master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth, despair, lust of power, and idle talk. But give rather the spirit of chastity, humility, patience, and love to Thy servant. 
Yea, O Lord and King, grant me to see my own sins, and not to judge my brother, 
for blessed art Thou, unto ages of ages. 
Amen.

If one has tools in one's tool box it would behoove one to use them, would it not?

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading
Sunday of Orthodoxy
Sunday of St Gregory of Palamas
Sunday of the Holy Cross
What are Passions?
Move Along Home - ST: DS9 (S1E10)