Distraction

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.’
Luke 10:38-42 emphasis mine

Distraction seems to be the name of the game for me these days. Once upon a time, I could focus quite easily for hours on whatever it was I was doing: writing, reading, studying. I could totally absorb myself in the flow and lose track of all time. These days I am sometimes surprised to make it all the way home in one piece.

Main Entry: ²dis·tract Pronunciation: \di-ˈstrakt\

Function: transitive verb

Etymology: Middle English, from Latin distractus, past participle of distrahere, literally, to draw apart, from dis- + trahere to draw

Date: 14th century

- having the attention diverted especially because of anxiety

Well that explains a few things and is relatively apropos.

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6

Therein lies the rub, I think. I'm already muddling things up by being "worried and distracted by many things" after I've been expressly told not to worry about anything.

When I wasn't worried, when I was sure about my course and about what was right and what was wrong, I was not distracted. I was firmly founded. Now I am worse than any sapling in a wind, because at least the sapling has roots! I feel like a leaf. Or rather I feel like I am trying to catch, catalog and file fallen leaves in autumn during a windstorm. (There's a mental image for you.)

WHY?? Those dang leaves don't need catching, cataloging or filing! They fell off because dead leaves fall. I don't need to subject myself to an OCD moment of trying to fix them. The leaves don't need fixing. They aren't fixable. They need to be bagged up and put on the corner with the rest of the trash so they can be carted away and forgotten about.

Brilliant eh?

Let's see if I can do it. ~wink~

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.