First, there is the near-emergency surgery I had last fall. I went from a typical annual physical to "You might want to take care of this very quickly" inside of four weeks. At first all I could see were the logistical complications I had to deal with due to people being less than helpful; pain med side-effects; a blood clot; missed classes in my final semester of school; and other snafu's that popped up before, during, and after my recovery. I honestly had not intended to have the surgery when I did. I had planned to wait until after graduation and do it when I got a job and insurance. My doctor's advice, however, and the directives from the Lord said, "Do it now or pay the price." So I did it.
God blessed me. My classmates stepped up to the plate with help on projects and notes and assignments. My friends re-arranged their own busy lives to turn certain logistical nightmares into mere annoyances. As one friend said, "Why are you surprised about that? Did you expect anything different? Of course I will help you, dingbat!" LOL! In the end, I received blessing after blessing, hand over fist, during that time.
As that was going on, I was still in school. I was convinced, going into that last week of classes that I might manage to pull off C's but no, my work remained up to, and even above, par. My classmates and professors were solicitous and helpful, and their assistance and that of my advisor and other mentors, I succeeded in not only completing my classes, but I not only did I pass my classes and graduate; I graduated with honors!
Again, an overlap of that time were some legal issues I was dealing with. Things did not go as I had hoped. In my mind, there was a logical way for things to turn out and people would do what they had contracted themselves to do and not break their oaths. After the events of this week however, I am seeing that God made even that work out for good. Had things happened the way I wanted them, I would not have even sought the blessing that came this week.
This Lent has been a long one. It's been the typical 40 days but, for me, it has also been a 40 day journey of realizing just how much God does for me from moment to moment and situation to situation. Even though I was unable to see it at the time, the blessing was always there in the midst of the craziness. I just needed time to step away and see it.
Isn't that always the way, though? You can't see the blessing with which God has blessed you until so much later? Tonight as we prayed the canon to St Lazarus, I could not help but understand how Martha and Mary must have felt: They had to watch their brother suffer through sickness and die and then bury him while Jesus was off doing whatever-Jesus-does. I am sure they sent messages and prayed and consulted everyone and their uncle Jim-Bob to find a cure for Lazarus but still he died and still Jesus wandered around curing everyone under the sun...Except their brother.
Then Christ came and Lazarus was raised from four days dead.
Welcome to my world.
This Lent has been so pivotal for me. Intellectually, I know God watches over me, but being able to look back over just a few months and actually see where His hand has raised my dead to life is entirely different. It's blessing on top of blessing that I never saw coming.
Thank you for this Lenten lesson, Lord. Please continue to have mercy on me, a sinner.
Relevant Reading
John 11:1-44
I Love My Friends
What About Your Friends?
Master of Library Science...Cum Laude!
Canon to St Lazarus (opens as pdf)
Saturday of the Holy and Righteous Friend of Christ, Lazarus
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