Heart Full

My heart is full and my head is spinning a little bit. That is a good thing. It really is. As soon as I can parse it down to a post or two, I will. Meanwhile...

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
   whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
   of whom shall I be afraid?
When evildoers assail me
   to devour my flesh—
my adversaries and foes—
   they shall stumble and fall.
Though an army encamp against me,
   my heart shall not fear;
though war rise up against me,
   yet I will be confident.
One thing I asked of the Lord,
   that will I seek after:
to live in the house of the Lord
   all the days of my life,
to behold the beauty of the Lord,
   and to inquire in his temple.
For he will hide me in his shelter
   in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
   he will set me high on a rock.
Now my head is lifted up
   above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
   sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.
Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud,
   be gracious to me and answer me!
‘Come,’ my heart says, ‘seek his face!’
   Your face, Lord, do I seek.
   Do not hide your face from me.
Do not turn your servant away in anger,
   you who have been my help.
Do not cast me off, do not forsake me,
   O God of my salvation!
If my father and mother forsake me,
   the Lord will take me up.
Teach me your way, O Lord,
   and lead me on a level path
   because of my enemies.
Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries,
   for false witnesses have risen against me,
   and they are breathing out violence.
I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord
   in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
   be strong, and let your heart take courage;
   wait for the Lord!
Psalm 27

Lord have mercy on me a sinner.

And Now For Something Completely Different

How to Survive the Next Seven Days Waiting For The Release of The Towers of Midnight

I know. I know. The wait must be killing you by now.  Try to relax.  November 2^nd will be here soon, and there are plenty of things we can all do to occupy our time until then.

So before you lose your marbles, consider the following 25 suggestions:

1. Wash the spears. You will need them when Tarmon Gai’don begins
2. Take your wolf brother for a nice relaxing walk
3. Raise the banner of Malkier in your backyard and see who shows up
4. Make an apple pie since you have plenty on hand now.
5. Fantasize about what Ajah you’ll join one day [Note: I would be Brown Ajah, no doubt]
6. Play Snakes and Foxes with your best friend until one of you wins
7. Take a camping trip to the parking lot of your local bookstore
8. Tease your boyfriend with your best Tinker shawl dance
9. Tease your girlfriend with your best Tinker shawl dance and hope she doesn’t dump you
10. Book your hotel room for JordanCon
11. Start your own Ajah
12. Practice your juggling and other gleeman’s skills
13. Adopt a piglet and name it Mat
14. Eat every meal this week with sursa
15. Scribble the Dragon’s Fang on your sibling’s door
16. Reorganize your RAFO cards
17. Look for the Waygate that opens up to the Tor offices thinking that you’ll be able to steal a copy of Towers of Midnight
18. Start your Wheel of Time costume for Halloween (I’m going to be a Tinker!)
19. Teach your dog to obey commands in the Old Tongue
20. Play Magic: The Gathering (Maybe the extra practice will give you the edge you need to beat Brandon on tour)
21. Practice your sword forms
22. Go to Starbucks and attempt to order kaf
23. Hunt down the remaining renegade Black Ajah
24. Attempt to trick your crush into a Seanchan marriage
25. Ignore me. You’re going to keep drinking and keep bloody gambling. No woman is going to walk into your life and start telling you what to do.

Laura Fitzgerald is the Internet Marketing Assistant at Tor Books and Sitter for the Ochre Ajah, an Ajah she made up while waiting for Towers of Midnight.  The Ochre Ajah is dedicated to improving the taste of muffins and other baked goods through the One Power.  They are currently accepting petitions from hopeful aspirants on the Tor Books Twitter.


Lord have mercy on me, a (geeky) sinner.

Relevant Reading
The Wheel of Time, wikipedia entry
Official Tor.com Website for Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time
Tor.com Towers of Midnight Newsletter
Brandon Sanderson, recipient of Jordan's mantle
Dragonmount, a WoT Community
Encyclopaedia WoT, exactly as named
I Have Read Towers of Midnight, a review from DM

God is Never Surprised!

...But boy I am!!

Today I got a piece of news that sent me to my knees in praise and thanksgiving. I'd been waiting for this for such a long time and was beginning to think it would never ever happen, but..It did! I was dancing and having such a good time. Everything was great.

Then it got better.

Tonight, I had another responsibility that I must take care of regularly and discovered that something was coming up that I had failed to anticipate (yes I know I am being overly circumspect). But the first wonderful thing would eliminate the need for me to do this anymore! Can you imagine how I felt when I realized that God had already known it was coming and took care of it for me? I'm almost in tears right now. God took care of this event that I didn't even know was coming before I needed to even ask!

God is so good to me! I love that He knows what is happening and what is going to happen and then makes it into something good in spite of whatever it is I am doing. He keeps His promises.

He keeps His promises.
He keeps His promises.
HE KEEPS HIS PROMISES.

Not because of anything I have done, but because He said He would. He told me not to be afraid and He would do all that I ask. He called me worthy. He said He would not abandon me, but would raise me up, never leave me and care for my child and me. He said He would give me a new name and that He delights in me. Years ago, when Gabriel was a baby in arms, He told me He delights in me and last year He told me He still does! I can read His promises He made to me and tell you the day and the hour that they were fulfilled.

I don't know why He cares for me like He does but I don't even want to question it. All I know is that He does and IS and that is enough for me.

I praise Thee, O God of our Fathers, I hymn Thee, I bless Thee, I give thanks unto thee for Thy great and tender mercy. To Thee I flee, O merciful and mighty God. Shine into my heart with the True Sun of Thy righteousness. Enlighten my mind and keep all my senses, that henceforth I may walk uprightly and keep Thy commandments, and may finally attain unto eternal life, even to Thee, Who art the source of life, and be admitted to the glorious fruition of Thine inaccessible Light. For Thou art my God, and unto Thee, 

O Father, Son and Holy Spirit, be ascribed glory, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Thank you, Father! Thank you for the mercy you have had upon me, a sinner. Thank you!

Relevant Reading
Ruth 3:11
Isaiah 54
Isaiah 62
God's Been Good to Me!

His Mercy Endures Forever!

Praise the Lord, all you nations!

Extol him, all you peoples! 

For great is his steadfast love towards us,

and the faithfulness of the Lord endures for ever.

Praise the Lord! Alleluia!

Psalm 117

Chanted at St Mary Antiochian Orthodox Church

Letter in the Wake of Senseless Tragedy

Hello my girl,
I  wanted to say hi and tell you how much I miss you and that I hope your classes are going well and that you are having fun too.
But I also have to have a mommy moment-  bear with me here.  I won't take long, and I won't be saying anything I haven't already said in one form or another,  but it is important.

You may or may not have heard about the NJ college student who killed himself last week because his room-mate had posted videotape of him having sex with another guy.  A terrible, senseless tragedy.

My mommy job requires that I remind you of two essential things:
One:
Nothing ruins your life forever. NOTHING.
Two:
Nothing ruins your life forever. NOTHING. 

If that young man had only waited a couple of weeks nobody would have cared- he'd have gotten past it.  People have short memories- life would have gotten better, much better.  His parents and friends? They loved him prior to the tape- they would have loved him afterward too.  A few awkward moments and then life goes on. 

But when you are young you don't know that even the awkward moments are fleeting.  On this,  you just have to trust the old people.  Remember when you were really small and cried and cried over something?  Well,  it didn't last.  That's kind of what it's like- awful things happen, you feel like there's a rock in the pit of your stomach, somehow time goes by and it gets better.  I promise you, it ALWAYS gets better. 

The students, a girl and boy, who were involved in the taping and posting-- they are being charged with bias crime, invasion of privacy and possibly other things.  Their college life is over.  They will have to live with this death the rest of their lives-- and their families are devastated.  What they did was so wrong- but also so kid-stupid.  Not to mention mean. And so their lives will be different forever- but even so- their families will love them and they will have time enough to hopefully live in such a way as to make meaning from their mistake.

So, my beautiful girl,  never, ever think something is unfixable.  NOTHING you do will ever keep us from loving you.  NOTHING you do could be so awful you can't get past it. 

And if someone is mean to you, and it isn't something you can ignore-- seek out people to talk to about it.  Surround yourself with people who are supportive.  If you ever need help and don't know how to ask- try writing a letter instead.  And right now- before you might need such help- think about who you would talk to if needed.  In the midst of turmoil sometimes we don't always think as clearly- having a plan makes it easier to find help in crisis.  And remember there are always alternatives. Always.

Finally, don't be mean.  Don't let other people be mean. 
Stand up for the underdog, protect those who aren't as smart or confident or easygoing as yourself. 
Treat people's feelings like fragile little puppies- if you play with them- be gentle.

I love you so much and I know you really don't need me to tell you this stuff.... but it's my job.
Love and hugs,
Mommy

Vicki Bell's Blog

Holy Theotokos, I pray that I may always always always convey this to Gabriel. Nothing, nothing, nothing is ever that bad. As a kid and as an adult, I've been the victim of people who were mean and thoughtless and who have tried to make me feel like my life is worthless and that the world would be better without me. I know that being depressed and hurting and bleeding inside can skew your reasoning and make you believe that things would be better if you weren't there. It's not true. The trouble is that it's so hard to deal with those feelings alone. Holy mother, pray to God that as he grows older, Gabriel will know that he knows that he knows that he knows that he can come to me and I won't let him down. Pray that he will know that he can ask for your prayers and the prayers of his angel and all of the saints and that they will avail much. Most of all, let him know that he is loved and in spite of everything EVER, he will be loved.

And please pray for me, a sinner.

Who Are These Holy Fathers?

My Dear Friend:

You have asked a good question: "Who are these Holy Fathers you Orthodox Christians are always speaking of, and why are they so important to you? Isn't is enough to just have the Bible?" 

First I must tell you that not only are Holy Fathers important to Orthodox Christians today, but they have been important to Christians from the very beginning; during the great age of Church Councils (the fourth through the eighth centuries) the proclamation of those Councils began with these significant words: "Following the Holy Fathers..." I think you'll find that these Holy Fathers are important to you, too, even though you are not Orthodox, because anyone who loves Christ naturally also loves those who knew and experienced Him intimately, revealing Him to others.

And so, a Holy Father is, first, a member of the Orthodox Church and a saint--that is, a baptized believer, known for the holiness and great virtue of his life, who is now in heaven with Christ. Secondly, a Holy Father is one who teaches the Faith and is an explainer of Holy Scripture. He gives witness to it by both his life and writings, enlightened by the grace of the Holy Spirit. Also, a Holy Father is not self appointed; he is chosen by God and revealed to the consciousness of the whole Body of Christ as one who has spoken truthfully about divine things. Finally, his words must reflect the teachings of Holy Scripture and the Apostles; he may not teach things contrary to what has always been believed and taught in the Church; he must faithfully hand down what he has received.

Because many people think that Christ's Church somehow "died out," or, as even many Protestants believe, that it apostasized during the first century after Christ (as if such a thing were really possible considering Christ's promise to be with His Church "even unto the end of the ages" (Matt. 25:20), I would like to share with you a glimpse of the early Church as seen in the lives and writings of Holy Fathers, from the time of the Apostles until about 200 A.D. roughly three generations. 

You can easily verify that what you are about to read is not something I've made up; this information can be found in well documented form in any larger library. In fact I ask you not to take my word for it. Investigate for yourself; take the trouble to be informed about something that affects your very salvation.

In his Epistle to the Philipplans, St. Paul mentions a "true yoke-fellow" and "fellow-laborer" named "Clement" (Phil. 4:3). You might be surprised to learn that history also knows this man; one of his letters is preserved in manuscript form in the British Museum! He is know as St. Clement the Roman. He was martyred in 97 or 98, shortly after the end of Emperor Domitian's persecution of the Christian Church. His letter is a wonderful witness concerning the existence of Apostolic Succession in the early Church:

"The Apostles received the Gospel for us from the Lord Jesus Christ; Jesus Christ was sent forth from God. So then Christ is from God and the Apostles are from Christ. Both therefore came of the will of God in an appointed order. Having therefore received a charge...they went forth with the glad tidings .... Then, preaching everywhere in country and town, they appointed their' first-fruits, when they had proved them by the Spirit, to be bishops and deacons unto all those that should believe ....         They appointed these persons and then also provided a continuance, that when these should fall asleep, other approved men should succeed to their ministration."

Concerning the need to be obedient to the successors to the Apostles he says: "But if certain persons should be disobedient unto the words spoken by Him through us, let them understand that they will entangle themselves in no small transgression and danger."

Another early Church Father, a disciple of the Apostle John, is St. Ignatius, of Antioch, martyred in 109 A.D. He was the child whom our Lord took into his arms in Matthew's Gospel (Matthew 18:1-5). Seven of his letters have survived; and in these he gives advice to Christians in different cities. He speaks not only of bishops, but of priests and deacons, and of what unity in the Church means:

"For as many as are of God and of Jesus Christ are with the bishop; and as many as shall repent and enter into the unity of the Church, these also shall be of God, that they may be living after Jesus Christ .... Wheresoever the bishop is, there let the people be, even as where Jesus is, there is the Universal Church... Be ye careful therefore to observe one Eucharist, for there is one flesh of our Lord Jesus Christ, and one cup unto union in His blood; there is one altar, as there is one [local] bishop, together with the priesthood and the deacons."

Finally I mention St. Irenaeus of Lyons, who died in 202 A.D. He had been a disciple of St. Polycarp, who in turn was a disciple of the Apostle John. You can see here the living continuity of the Faith. In his last years St. Polycarp was the sole survivor of the Apostolic Age, the last man still living who had personally known the Apostles. For this reason he was treated with great respect and veneration and "numerous disciples gathered around him to hear from his lips the last living echo of Apostolic teaching," as we learn from his life. 

The three generations of early Holy Fathers, which I’ve briefly outlined for you, brings us to the dawn of the third century, having covered roughly the first 170 years of the Church's life, from the Ascension of Christ in 33 A.D. to the death of lrenaeus in 202. You can see that each of these Fathers was acutely aware of his living connection with the Apostles and the Teaching he had received from them. 

It is my prayer that you will one day be enlightened by the Light of Christ and come to a fuller understanding of these things. 

Sincerely, in Christ,

Fr. Alexey Young

Orthodox America

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner!

Relevant Reading
First Epistle of St Clement to the Corinthians
Epistles of St Ignatius
Epistle of St Polycarp to the Philippians
St Irenaeus' "Against the Heresies"

Feast of the Protection of the Theotokos

I like this story. Holy Theotokos, pray for us!

On October 1 the Church celebrates the Feast of the Protection of the Theotokos which celebrates the appearance of the Mother of God at Blachernae in the tenth century. St. Andrew of Constantinople, his disciple St. Epiphanius, and a group of people, saw the Mother of God, during a vigil in the Church of Blachernae, near the city gates. 

They saw Theotokos walk down the center of the church. She knelt down and remained in prayer for a long time. Her face was covered in tears. Then she took her veil off and spread it over the people as a sign of protection. At that time, the people in the city were threatened by a barbarian invasion. After the appearance of the Mother of God, the city was spared from bloodshed and suffering.

What is important about the Feast of the Protection? First, we are reminded that the prayers of the Theotokos are very powerful. She was the Mother of Our Lord. She watched him as He grew up and, as a child, He came to her with His troubles. He was very close to her. So her nearness to Him is a comfort and a support to us. When we cry out to her, “Most Holy Theotokos, save us!” we proclaim that she who remained at the foot of the Cross can support us as we journey down the Way of the Cross.

This feast also reminds us that we should remember and be thankful for the good things that have been done for us. The Divine Liturgy encourages us: “remembering this saving commandment and all those things which have been done for us…” The Bible also says we should always recall the things God has done and thank Him. We also should thank Him for the intercessions of His Mother, remembering what she has done. We thank Him for the testimony of His saints,those known to us and those known only to God, and remember their deeds. 

A short essay I adapted for my son's religion lesson for 1 October

Most Holy Theotokos pray for me, a sinner

Relevant Reading
Feast of the Holy Skepi of the Theotokos
Facing Up to Mary

The Word of the Lord

Sing, O barren one who did not bear;
burst into song and shout,
you who have not been in labour!
For the children of the desolate woman will be more
than the children of her that is married, says the Lord.
Enlarge the site of your tent,
and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;
do not hold back; lengthen your cords
and strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread out to the right and to the left,
and your descendants will possess the nations
and will settle the desolate towns.

Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed;
do not be discouraged, for you will not suffer disgrace;
for you will forget the shame of your youth,
and the disgrace of your widowhood you will remember no more.
For your Maker is your husband,
the Lord of hosts is his name;
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called.
For the Lord has called you
like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit,
like the wife of a man’s youth when she is cast off,
says your God.
For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with great compassion I will gather you.
In overflowing wrath for a moment
I hid my face from you,
but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,
says the Lord, your Redeemer.

This is like the days of Noah to me:
Just as I swore that the waters of Noah
would never again go over the earth,
so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you
and will not rebuke you.
For the mountains may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted,
I am about to set your stones in antimony,
and lay your foundations with sapphires.
I will make your pinnacles of rubies,
your gates of jewels,
and all your wall of precious stones.
All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
and great shall be the prosperity of your children.
In righteousness you shall be established;
you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;
and from terror, for it shall not come near you.
If anyone stirs up strife,
it is not from me;
whoever stirs up strife with you
shall fall because of you.
See, it is I who have created the smith
who blows the fire of coals,
and produces a weapon fit for its purpose;
I have also created the ravager to destroy.
No weapon that is fashioned against you shall prosper,
and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgement.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord
and their vindication from me, says the Lord.
Isaiah 54

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading
Psalm 55

Out in the Fields with God

A Field of Poppies in France

The little cares that fretted me,
I lost them yesterday
Among the fields above the sea,
Among the winds at play,
Among the lowing of the herds,
The rustling of the trees,
Among the singing of the birds,
The humming of the bees.

The foolish fears of what might pass
I cast them all away
Among tile clover-scented grass,
Among the new-mown hay,
Among the hushing of the corn,
Where drowsy poppies nod,
Where ill thoughts die and good are born -
Out in the fields of God.
Author Unknown, often attributed to Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Quizzy Quizzy Quizzy

Your Result - St Macrina the Younger

You have a great spiritual influence on others and are the spiritual center of your family. You treasure asceticism and can live without “necessities.” You consider that foolishness and misunderstanding are the causes of the grief that attends the death of a beloved one and that often weighs down those who remain on earth. These arise from a failure to comprehend that the flesh passes away; being composite, the body alone is dissolved at death. The body lies in the grave; the body is insensate. The soul, however, remains sensate. It knows all that it knew when the body lived, and its knowing derives from what the body experienced and what the soul knew. The soul can still contemplate God and will be like God insofar as it sees His beauty.
Which Cappadocian are You?

I wish.

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner!

Relevant Reading
St Macrina, Devoted Sister
The Life of St Macrina as Written by St Gregory of Nyssa
The Cappadocian Fathers