I am Tired

You are tired,

(I think)

Of the always puzzle of living and doing;

And so am I.

Come with me, then,

And we'll leave it far and far away—

(Only you and I, understand!)

You have played,

(I think)

And broke the toys you were fondest of,

And are a little tired now;

Tired of things that break, and—

Just tired.

So am I.

But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,

And knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart—

Open to me!

For I will show you the places Nobody knows,

And, if you like,

The perfect places of Sleep.

Ah, come with me!

I'll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,

That floats forever and a day;

I'll sing you the jacinth song

Of the probable stars;

I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,

Until I find the Only Flower,

Which shall keep (I think) your little heart

While the moon comes out of the sea.

~ ee cummings

Happy New Year!

Christ our God, Your kingdom is an everlasting one and Your lordship is over all. 

You have made all things with wisdom and have established proper times and seasons for our lives.

We give thanks to You in all circumstances and for all things. 

Grant that this liturgical year be for all of us a year of grace. 

Make us worthy with purity of heart always to praise you. Lord, glory to You!

Today the liturgical year begins and I am taking stock of how things are. 

Some things pretty much suck, but they could suck worse. I have my friends who have all come through for me in such a big way this year. And it has been such a long, long year. God has gifted me with so many good people in my life. I honestly don't know how they stand me but I will never never forget their goodness. This is true Christian prosperity. So many blessings, so much love. Thank you, Father.

I have named my greatest fear and this year I am resolved to overcome it. "Live in the real and name the lies." I forget to do that sometimes when things are hard. What is my fear? What is real about this fear? What are the lies about this fear? There are many things I can do nothing about, but forcing myself to see what is real and refusing to live in fear of things my mind conjures up is something I can control. This year I will. I will not try, "there is no "try". I will do it.

Let go, let go, let go. I believe that is the command of God to me for this year. "Let go, let go, let go. You are holding onto many things far too tightly and you need to let them go. I cannot fill an old wine skin. Be made new and let me fill you again with new wine." No, I do not claim God speaks to me in so many words, it is (1) just where I am at the moment and (2) it is what I believe to be true and (3) it is Biblical. There are so many things I need to release and this is the time to do it. I think I am ready. I've already begun releasing some things. Others will be harder. 

God will provide Himself a lamb. (Genesis 22:8) 

I want at least to be willing to be willing. I want to be obedient. 

The overall orders have not changed: Do Justice. Love Kindness. Walk Humbly. Remember God. Say My Prayers. Go to Church. Forgive My Brother. Obey the Commandments.

And...Let Go.

Lord have mercy on me a sinner.

Relevant Reading
Micah 6:1-8

Distraction