Saved in Weakness

It is counter-intuitive that God saves man through His own weakness. The irony of the Divine Reversal has provided endless material for the hymnographers of the Church through the centuries: the Strong becomes weak; the Sinless takes on our sin; the Rich becomes poor; God becomes man – the whole of the gospel seems to be a Divine irony.

This irony has a beauty that has always drawn me. Sometimes the imagery drawn out in a hymn within the Church becomes so poignant I want to stop the service just to savor it (of course I can’t do this).

However, I think there is something that makes us want to keep our irony Divine and minimize it in our own lives. St. Paul says that he “glories in his weakness,” but I find that few other people, including myself, want to do so. The irony that despite our intelligence, we are foolish is not our favorite topic. The embarrassment that often accompanies confession is the irony of our sin – it contradicts the image we want to hold of our own ego – or that we at least want others to hold.

At some level, we believe that we are not saved through our weakness, but will be saved through our strength, and that the whole life of grace is God’s effort to make us stronger – never suspecting that God’s grace may actually be purposefully developing our weakness.

I do not mean that the grace of God causes sin to abound. But I find it interesting that the work of grace makes sin less opaque – more apparent to ourselves. The greatest saints also seem to be those who are most aware of their sins – and aware of their true sins.

I often tell people who say they are struggling with prayer to quit trying to pray like a Pharisee and learn to pray like a Publican. We often want to pray from strength – to approach God when we at least feel spiritually alive. The Publican refuses to lift his eyes to heaven. The contradiction of his life and the goodness of God are more than he can bear. And yet he prays. And, ironically, it is he who goes down to his house justified rather than the Pharisee.

“My strength is made perfect in weakness” is the word God gave to St. Paul. I pray that it is so, for I find times in my life that what I have to offer to God and to others is my weakness – or so it seems.

In the better than 30 years that I have been in ordained ministry, I have learned that I am not alone in my weakness. All of us share common problems and brokenness, even if they are not identical. But the great irony is that it is precisely those problems and brokenness that Christ has made His own. There is nothing abstract about Christ’s union with our sin (2 Cor. 5:21). The great joy (and irony) is that we are heading to Pascha to share in the victory of life in the midst of weakness – not despite weakness.

Glory to God for all things!

Saved in Weakness, Fr Stephen Freeman, Glory to God for All Things blog

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner!

Relevant Reading
Weak
Psalm 69

The Hymn of Kassiani and St. Mary Magdalene

O Lord God, the woman who had fallen into many sins having perceived Thy divinity received the rank of ointment-bearer offering Thee spices before Thy burial wailing and crying: Woe is me, for the love of adultery and sin hath given me a dark and lightless night; accept the fountains of my tears O Thou Who drawest the waters the waters of the sea by the clouds incline Thou to the sigh of my heart O Thou Who didst bend the heavens by Thine inapprehensible condescension; I will kiss Thy pure feet and I will wipe them with my tresses I will kiss Thy feet Whose tread when it fell on the ears of Eve in Paradise dismayed her so that she did hide herself because of fear; who then shall examine the multitude of my sin and the depth of Thy judgment? Wherefore, O my Saviour and the Deliverer of my soul turn not away from Thy handmaiden O Thou of boundless mercy.

Hymn of Kassiani




According to tradition, during a dinner with the emperor Tiberius Caesar, Mary Magdalene was speaking about Christ's Resurrection. Caesar scoffed at her, saying that a man could rise from the dead no more than the egg in her hand could turn red. Immediately, the egg turned red. Because of this, icons of Mary Magdalene sometimes depict her holding an egg. from this comes the tradition of dyeing eggs red at Pascha/Easter.






Lord have mercy on me a sinner!

Relevant Reading
The Book of Ruth
Isaiah 54:1-6; 11-17
Kassiani the Hymnographer

A Quote from St John of Kronstadt

Value highly, and always preserve Christian meekness and kindness, mutual peace and love, crushing by every possible means the impulses of self-love, malice, irritability, and disturbance. Do not be disturbed and angered, when anybody tells you a falsehood to your face, or claims any unjust pretension, or speaks offensively, or boldly detects any of your weaknesses or passions, the wrongfulness of which, through your self-love, you did not suspect. Always first coolly reflect over what your opponent says to you, as well as over your own words and conduct, and, if, upon an entirely impartial consideration of your words and actions, you find them just, then let your conscience be at rest, and do not heed the words of your adversary, either remaining silent before him, or showing him his error quietly, gently, in all kindness of heart; but should you find yourself guilty of that, which your adversary detects in you, then, putting aside self-love and pride, ask pardon for your fault, and endeavour to correct yourself in future. We are often angry with straightforward, frank people for openly disclosing our iniquities. We ought to value such people, and forgive them, if by their bold speaking they break down our self-love. They are, in a moral sense, the surgeons who cut off, with a sharp word, the rottenness of the heart, and through arousing our self-love, they awaken, in the soul deadened by sin, a consciousness of sin and a vital reaction.

From My Life in Christ by St John of Kronstadt

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner!
Hat tip : Eleni

Parental Guidance

Conscience is the first law of God, which He carved deeply into the hearts of the first-created. In turn we each make a photocopy from our parents when we're born.

Children contract their first spiritual colds from the open windows of their parents' senses. The mother passes on her cold especially when she is not modestly dressed and scandalizes her children with her behavior.

The holy life of parents instructs the souls of their children and so they naturally obey them and grow up with piety and without psychological problems, and the children are pleased with their parents. The parents are gladdened by their children in this life and in life eternal, where they will once again glory in them.

My brother, don't ask for anything in prayer except for repentance. Repentance will bring you humility, humility will bring you the grace of God, and God will uphold you in His grace and will give you whatever you need for your own salvation as well as whatever is needed, should the case arise, for you to help another soul in need.

Counsels of Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain

For some reason, I thought being a parent would be so much easier than it actually is. The moment I think I have a handle on some little thing, something HUGE looms up behind me. This is really HARD. I don't know who these women are that claim it's so easy and can breeze through the day without wanting to throttle their perfect kids (who would never ever need a good throttling), while looking like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths but I am definitely not one of those rarified creatures.


God has seen fit to give me a delightful boy, though. So, rarified or not, I have to make sure I am what God needs for me to be for my boy. There is so much Gabriel needs from me, and let's not even begin to talk about the wants! I swear, that boy wants everything he lays eyes on. Much like his mama. HA!!

Anyway, doing it by myself is not an option. Praise the Lord that I don't have to. I am so grateful for His word to me a few years ago. He promised me:

All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
   and great shall be the prosperity of your children.
Isaiah 54:13
And now, my daughter, do not be afraid; I will do for you all that you ask, for all the assembly of my people know you are a worthy woman.
Ruth 3:11

He has done all that He said and more. So now, moving into another arena of life that I feel woefully inadequate to tackle, I am praying again for Him to remember His promise to me. Not that I believe He has forgotten, but perhaps I have. Without Him there is no way I could have come as far as I have. I hope He never thinks I forget this and so, by reminding Him, I remind myself that I am His servant and He has not forgotten me. (Isaiah 44:21-22)

By remembering, I remind myself that He will make me able to take care of Gabriel and all the things that need taking care of (and maybe even some of our collective wants) if I merely do the one teensy, tiny, itty-bitty, little thing He has asked me to do: become a saint. One little thing. Heck, he even told me how to do it. Remember God. Say my prayers. Go to church. Forgive my brother. Obey the commandments. Of course that can be the hardest part of all.

The cool thing is, He will help me with that, too. Even when I scamper around like a squirrel on crack- laced coffee kicking up things like I've lost the very last acorn the world will ever see.

Trust me...It has happened. It ain't pretty.








Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading
The Life of Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain
Works of Elder Paisios
Isaiah 54
Isaiah 44
Ruth 3
The Hardest Part

Once Upon a Time

A million years ago I was forced to embark upon an adventure I was grossly under-prepared for. I had few if any marketable skills, was suffering from severe low self worth and just generally felt like a failure: at life, at relationships, motherhood, at just about everything I had laid my hand to. I had no idea what I was going to do with myself and honestly, jumping off a bridge onto I-40 so I would not inflict myself on anyone else seemed like a very good idea at the time.

Then God said, "ALL THE ASSEMBLY OF MY PEOPLE KNOW YOU ARE A WORTHY WOMAN."

It has taken me a long time to hear that and believe it. He has given me worth. With and without all the extras that make up what we think are important in the Western world, it is nothing but good to know I have worth in His eyes. I look forward to what He will do, but I know that nothing will be as important to me as the past four years of my life.

And Ruth said, "May I continue to find favor in your sight, my lord,

for you have comforted me and spoken kindly to your servant, 

even though I am not one of your servants." 

(Ruth 2:13)

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading
The Book of Ruth

Thankful

I am so grateful to God this day. For all that He has allowed me to go through and for all that He has brought me through. For everything, I am grateful to Him.

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

More of Granny Weatherwax's Wisdom

An old woman (Granny Weatherwax, who happens to be a witch) and a priest (Mightily Oats) are sitting by the road having a conversation.

(The conversation starts on the classic subject of "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?")

Granny Weatherwax: "Sixteen!"
Mightily Oats: "You've counted sixteen?" said Oats eventually.
GW: "No, but it is as good an answer as any you'll get. And that's what you holy men discuss is it?"
MO: "Not usually. There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment on the nature of sin, for example."
GW: "And what do they think? Against it, are they?"
MO: "It is not as simple as that. It's not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray."
GW: "Nope."
MO: "Pardon?"
GW: "There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is."
MO: "It's a lot more complicated than that--"
GW: "No it ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts."
MO: "Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes-"
GW: "But they starts with thinking about people as things…"

Carpe Jugulum, Terry Pratchett

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

Sunday of Orthodoxy

Today is the first Sunday of Lent. Today, we celebrate the Triumph of Orthodoxy which is the day the 7th Ecumenical Council ruled on the iconoclastic controversy, which had raged on and off since 726. The celebration of icons in worship and their veneration were restored on the first Sunday in Lent in 787.

The icon of the Sunday of Orthodoxy commemorates the “restoration” of icons in the churches and to their use in Orthodox worship. The focal point of the icon is an icon itself, the Virgin Hodegetria, a popular depiction of the Theotokos as “Directress,” or literally “She who shows the way to God.” To the left of the icon is the Empress Theodora and her son Michael III. To the right of the icon are the Patriarchs Methodios and Tarasios. The icon is surrounded by numerous saints who struggled against the Iconoclastic heresy.

As usual on this day, we celebrated at a pan-Orthodox Vespers service at St Barbara's Greek Orthodox Church in Durham. Fr Nicholas was there from my church as well as the host priest, Fr James and surprisingly, Fr Dmitri from my son's godmother's church. Both Fr James and Fr Dmitri remembered me and I know Fr Dmitri hasn't met me more than twice and Fr James only once! Mom was right when she said  people watching goes both ways. LOL! Both of them, and Fr Nicholas, blessed Gabriel. He is such a great kid. Everyone loves him. Afterward, we had a great Lenten meal in the rectory and Gabriel got to play with some of his friends from church. 

I love being part of a church that honors the history of it's doctrine. Sometimes I think that people discard history far too lightly. If we do not know why we worship as we do, what is the point of worshipping? The why is just as important as the Who. After all, the Who is the One who gave us this style of worship; He is the why! It's in the Old Testament -- poke around in the Pentateuch and then compare it to what we do in the Orthodox Church. It's amazingly similar. The first Christians were Jewish and worshipped in the Temple after all!

What really made my heart full, though, was listening to Gabriel and watching him during the prayers. He knows the prayers, even when they are said in Greek, simply by the rhythm I suppose. He recognized when to cross and frowned as the chanters sang, "Kyrie Eleison". When I asked him what was wrong he said, "I don't know what they said. But shouldn't it be Lord have mercy?" When I told him that was what Kyrie Eleison meant, he gave me such a look. LOL! And the various priests and deacons recognized him too. He makes quite an impression. I'm proud to be his mama.

Anyway...

As the Prophets beheld, as the Apostles have taught, as the Church has received, as the Teachers have dogmatized, as the universe has agreed, as Grace has shown forth, as Truth has revealed, as falsehood has been dissolved, as Wisdom has presented, as Christ has awarded: thus we declare, thus we assert, thus we preach Christ our true God, and honor His Saints in words, in writings, in thoughts, in sacrifices, in churches, in Holy Icons; on the one hand worshiping and reverencing Christ as God and Lord; and on the other hand honoring as true servants of the same Lord of all, and accordingly offering them veneration. 

This is the Faith of the Apostles; this is the Faith of the Fathers; this is the Faith of the Orthodox; this is the Faith which has established the universe!

Amen!

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner!

Relevant Reading

Antiochian.org/Sunday of Orthodoxy

GOArch.org/Great Lent: Learn Listen Share

If You Weren't In Minneapolis

Byzantium, Iconoclasm, and the Monks ~ Protopresbyter Alexander Schmemann

Prayer of a Single Parent

Lord Jesus Christ my God, who carried Your own Holy Cross to Golgotha, grant me the strength, patience and wisdom to bear the burdens of parenthood.

Fulfill in me anything I may be lacking and grant that through our prayers and those of Your Holy Mother, our family may grow closer to You and a Life in Christ.

Amen

"O Virgin Pure"Part 1

"O Virgin Pure"Part 2

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner

Relevant Reading

O Virgin Pure by St Nektarios of Aegina

Forgiveness Sunday

In the Orthodox Church, the last Sunday before Great Lent - the day on which, at Vespers, Lent is liturgically announced and inaugurated - is called Forgiveness Sunday. On the morning of that Sunday, at the Divine Liturgy, we hear the words of Christ:

"If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses..." (Mark 6:14-15)

Then after Vespers - after hearing the announcement of Lent in the Great Prokeimenon:

"Turn not away Thy face from Thy child for I am afflicted! Hear me speedily! Draw near unto my soul and deliver it!"

after making our entrance into Lenten worship, with its special memories, with the prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian, with its prostrations - we ask forgiveness from each other, we perform the rite of forgiveness and reconciliation. And as we approach each other with words of reconciliation, the choir intones the Paschal hymns, filling the church with the anticipation of Paschal joy.

What is the meaning of this rite? Why is it that the Church wants us to begin Lenten season with forgiveness and reconciliation? These questions are in order because for too many people Lent means primarily, and almost exclusively, a change of diet, the compliance with ecclesiastical regulations concerning fasting. They understand fasting as an end in itself, as a "good deed" required by God and carrying in itself its merit and its reward. But, the Church spares no effort in revealing to us that fasting is but a means, one among many, towards a higher goal: the spiritual renewal of man, his return to God, true repentance and, therefore, true reconciliation. The Church spares no effort in warning us against a hypocritical and pharisaic fasting, against the reduction of religion to mere external obligations. As a Lenten hymn says:

In vain do you rejoice in no eating, O soul!
For you abstain from food,
But from passions you are not purified.
If you persevere in sin, you will perform a useless fast.

Now, forgiveness stands at the very center of Christian faith and of Christian life because Christianity itself is, above all, the religion of forgiveness. God forgives us, and His forgiveness is in Christ, His Son, Whom He sends to us, so that by sharing in His humanity we may share in His love and be truly reconciled with God. Indeed, Christianity has no other content but love. And it is primarily the renewal of that love, a return to it, a growth in it, that we seek in Great Lent, in fasting and prayer, in the entire spirit and the entire effort of that season. Thus, truly forgiveness is both the beginning of, and the proper condition for the Lenten season.

One may ask, however: Why should I perform this rite when I have no "enemies"? Why should I ask forgiveness from people who have done nothing to me, and whom I hardly know? To ask these questions, is to misunderstand the Orthodox teaching concerning forgiveness. It is true, that open enmity, personal hatred, real animosity may be absent from our life, though if we experience them, it may be easier for us to repent, for these feelings openly contradict Divine commandments. But, the Church reveals to us that there are much subtler ways of offending Divine Love. These are indifference, selfishness, lack of interest in other people, of any real concern for them -- in short, that wall which we usually erect around ourselves, thinking that by being "polite" and "friendly" we fulfill God's commandments. The rite of forgiveness is so important precisely because it makes us realize - be it only for one minute - that our entire relationship to other men is wrong, makes us experience that encounter of one child of God with another, of one person created by God with another, makes us feel that mutual "recognition" which is so terribly lacking in our cold and dehumanized world.

On that unique evening, listening to the joyful Paschal hymns we are called to make a spiritual discovery: to taste of another mode of life and relationship with people, of life whose essence is love. We can discover that always and everywhere Christ, the Divine Love Himself, stands in the midst of us, transforming our mutual alienation into brotherhood. As l advance towards the other, as the other comes to me - we begin to realize that it is Christ Who brings us together by His love for both of us.

And because we make this discovery - and because this discovery is that of the Kingdom of God itself: the Kingdom of Peace and Love, of reconciliation with God and, in Him, with all that exists - we hear the hymns of that Feast, which once a year, "opens to us the doors of Paradise." We know why we shall fast and pray, what we shall seek during the long Lenten pilgrimage. Forgiveness Sunday: the day on which we acquire the power to make our fasting - true fasting; our effort - true effort; our reconciliation with God - true reconciliation.

Protopresbyter Alexander Schmemann

I fail at this abysmally, I think. There are some whom I must remember to forgive on an almost hourly basis, it seems. I wrestle with myself and ask the Lord for forgiveness all the time because I know just how far short I fall here. ~sigh~  I always think forgiveness should be over, out and done with after the first time you do it. If whatever it is keeps coming up, doesn't that mean you didn't do it right the first time? Does forgiveness have to equal friendship? Some of the things I have read on the subject in the Christian/ Orthodox Christian community seem to imply that this is so, that once you forgive someone you have to be friends again. I mean, frankly in certain situations, that just leaves one open to continued abuse and betrayal of trust doesn't it?

I don't know. I just don't know. I look forward to the Forgiveness Vespers nonetheless, however. Someday I will know, I have faith.

Lord have mercy on me a sinner.

Relevant Reading
Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Psalm 51
Psalm 55:12-14, 16-22