Cognitive Dissonance

I have a problem. Or perhaps it's not a problem. I dunno. I only know that I am too tired to deal with my brain right now.

I love science but sometimes when I watch/listen to non-fiction science/biology documentaries or books I experience a lot of cognitive dissonance about my entire life. I feel like a deer in headlights because I know and understand both my faith and science to be true but it's hard to reconcile them or even let them run orthogonally in my head. And then I get...irritable because I feel like I'm betraying one by accepting the other.

I am the same politically. I have the lamentable ability to see the facets of various hot-button issues as being on a scale of validity that kind of forces me to walk a tightrope. I have no problems arguing for (or against) any angle (except abject idiocy and/or insane behavior). I am by nature very conservative but some Republican/Right leaning policy/advocacy is just as disgusting to me as a lot of Democratic/Left leaning policy/advocacy.

And let's just not get started on the incestuous nature of religion and politics in this country. Sometimes after hearing some of the advocates (from BOTH sides of the aisle) go on and on about God this and Jesus that, I just really want to take a shower. You cannot proclaim Christ without following the tenets He and the Apostles and their disciples taught. Likeswise, you also cannot proclaim Christ and refuse to DO what He and the Apostles and their disciples taught .

I know I said that twice. Conservatives and Liberals need to take note. It's not a frakkin' buffet, y'all. You cannot advocate some of the New Testament and not acknowledge the other part as equally valid and advocate against those. If you do you're as big a hypocrite as I am. And that's pretty damn huge. All these pet "Jesus said" issues get on my nerves.

Sorry...Bit of a soap box there. I'll get down now.

Of course then my next plan is to go find more information about the things that are bugging me...And my brain starts to hurt. There is no end to the data that is out there on any given subject. Data, opinion, interpretation...You name it it's out there and it. Does. Not. Help. In fact it really makes things worse because by the time it's done I just want to smack people for being stupid.

All of these things make it hard for me to put up with a lot of the more, ah, hmm...I'm going to go with "zealous" as opposed to "rabid"....people in this land. But they also make it hard for me inside my own head. Especially when something that is true butts up against my understanding of something else which is also true.

So then I kind of back into a corner, erect a barricade of pillows and My Little Pony memes and hide under a blanket with lots of books, sugar and wine because I just can't handle it anymore.

There has got to be a better way to deal with this but right now prayer, church, ponies, urban fantasy, documentaries, and wine seem to be getting me through. Particularly the wine.

I'd like to not have to deal with my own brain sometimes. I really would.

God only knows what it is.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading
What is Cognitive Dissonance