I Miss My Mom

Alberta Webb Gatling

1937 - 1995

Memory Eternal

I totally miss my mom. I am so glad I have the opportunity to see her again so I may thank her for her prayers, both while she was here, and while she is there. This is the woman who taught me how to wake up FULL of awesome!

Do you still have it?

The awesome.

Did someone take it from you?

Did you let them?

Did you hand it over, because someone told you weren’t beautiful enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough?

Why the hell would you listen to them?

Did you consider they might be full of shit?
~ Waking Up Full of Awesome

Hey Mom...I had to go through much hell and swallowed much of the crap you warned me about, but I quit listening, puked a bit, and took some Maalox and damn if I didn't get my awesome back!

Relevant Reading

Wake Up Full of Awesome!

The Flight of Hamwings

"This? This is my life. 

I am that pig. 

My life is patently absurd, improbable, illogical and aerodynamically unlikely

--but occasionally glorious nonetheless." 

~Artwork and quote lifted shamelessly from RedWombatStudios. 

I love this painting. I want it. It makes me happy just to look at. It's so me. It's so my life. Rising above the "stuff" in the pigpen on wings I never knew I had. This little piggie has such a great expression on her face. She's reaching toward...Something great. I love her! Her wings are spread wide and her smile is broad and she isn't at all worried about what is below and behind her. 

When pigs fly you have to know SO many better things lie ahead. So fly on, little Hamwings! Onward and forward with you and me!

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading
Something's Comin'

Looking for Something Good

The Chapter that Spoke

Risk Taking, Quantum Uncertainty, and Leaps of Faith

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Ruth 3:11

Simpler is Better

I am upstairs, sitting in my newly painted study with my doggie on the floor and my boy in the next room, munching on cornbread in milk, listening to the rain, and browsing Netflix for cool stuff to watch. Sometimes the simpler life is just plain good.

God save me from complication.

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

Holy St Xenia, Pray for Me!

Saint Xenia was a beautiful young Russian girl from the city of Saint Petersburg, who became a Fool-for-Christ, and this is how it happened.

When she was just old enough, Xenia married a dashing cavalry officer named Andrei, and they were very happy together. Because they were young, they loved going to balls and dinners, but one night at a party Andrei suddenly fell over dead! This was terrible for Xenia, of course. Andrei had not even had time to go to Confession or receive Holy Communion before he died, and she was dreadfully worried about his soul. After Andrei was buried, Xenia left Saint Petersburg for a long time and some people she even went to a monastery. I don't know about that, but I do know that when she came back she gave away everything she had-her house, her money and her beautiful clothes. Instead of her own things, she wore Andrei's old army jacket and told everyone to call her by his name. She went all over the city doing good for people in his name, so that if his soul which was suffering from his sins that he hadn't repented of, her deeds and prayers would help him. Christians often give money or offer prayers for the souls of people who have died. This is called "almsgiving", but it is not so common to give up your whole life for another person, which is what Xenia did. The interesting thing about doing good deeds and offering prayers for other people is that soon you become very close to God yourself, and that's what happened to Xenia. She was praying so hard for her husband that she became holy!

Many people thought that she was a little crazy, especially when she gave all her money away. (Editors notes: Xenia relatives event took her to court, but the judge found of her of good sound mind as she continued to help the poor). But in the Orthodox Church we have a name for holy people that other people might think are crazy. We call them "Fools-for-Christ." They often aren't crazy, but just pretend to be so that they can hide their spiritual gifts. The Lord had given Xenia many spiritual gifts and she began to do odd things like walking barefoot in the snow and wearing unusual clothes so that people wouldn't think she was special. She sometimes knew what was going to happen before it happened, or if people had a problem and didn't know what God wanted them to do, she could tell them. Often just by looking at people, she knew if they were telling the truth or not.

Sometimes, when Christians do good things, they do them secretly so that only God sees. This is because the Lord said, "Let not your left hand know what your right hand is doing," and, "Do your good works in secret so that your father who sees you in secret can reward you openly." This is what this picture of Saint Xenia is about. Many years ago, when the people of Saint Petersburg were building a church in the Smolensk Cemetery, Saint Xenia used to go directly at night and carry the heavy bricks that were needed for the next day's building to the top of the church. When the workmen came every morning, they found the hardest part of their work already finished, and they often wondered who was doing such a kind thing. Finally, two of the workmen decided to spend the night in the cemetery. They waited and waited, and when it was dark, Saint Xenia appeared. All night long they watcher climb up and down, up and down the walls of the half-finished church with her bricks.

The church that Saint Xenia helped to build is still in the Smolensk Cemetery, and there is a tiny chapel nearby where she is buried. Pilgrims from all over Russia still come there to pray and to help. During the terribly difficult years in Russia, when the churches were closed because the Communists didn't want people to worship God, pilgrims came secretly to Saint Xenia's. The door to the chapel was locked, and because they couldn't get in, they wrote their prayers to her on little scraps of paper and slipped them into the cracks in the walls. The Communist didn't like this one bit, but they soon found out that it was impossible to stop Christians from loving the Saints, or to stop the Saints from helping them!

God has healed many people of illnesses and passions through Saint Xenia's prayers. She also helps find homes and jobs. St. Xenia didn't have a home herself, and she knows how hard it is for people who need one. In the church service for her feast we call her a "homeless wanderer," because she gave up her earthly home for heaven.~ by Nun Nectaria McLees

I often feel foolish. Sometimes I do things and have no idea why. Sometimes they turn out good, other times they make me and everyone around me shake our heads and go "Really?" I often wish for the courage of such a saint, to just do the things I feel that need doing and hang the way others might think, but I'm a bit more caught in the world than that.  Holy Mother Xenia, pray to God for me!




In thee, O wandering stranger, Christ the Lord hath given us an ardent intercessor for our kind. For having received in thy life sufferings and grief and served God and men with love, thou didst acquire great boldness. Wherefore, we fervently hasten to thee in temptations and grief, crying out from the depths of our hearts: Put not our hope to shame, O Blessed Xenia.

Lord have mercy on me a sinner.

Lord, Teach Me to Pray

O Lord, grant unto me an image of repentance and of forgiveness, and not to hold on to the memory of wrongs done to me.

O Christ, who prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," pray that we might repay evil with good and pray for all who betray us, even as they know full well what they do in treachery and betrayal.

Do thou help me, for I am small in heart and not wise in the ways of a forgiving heart.

Help me, with thy Father and thy Holy Spirit. Amen.

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

Defining My Librarianship

There’s that phrase which chases us around the libinfosphere, a variant on:

‘You don’t become a librarian because you like books.’

Well, actually, many of us do. Let’s be more accurate:

‘You don’t become a good librarian because you just like books.’

You become -and stay – a good librarian by liking other things, too. You like people; computers; metadata; gin. You have a passion for teaching or research. You see the void which exists between a person and the information they need, and you have to fill it.

Sometimes, that void is filled by books. Sometimes it’s filled by information about books. Don’t put barriers in the way of either of them. Don’t make future generations crawl around in the electronic equivalent of a dusty old storage room, hunting through obsolete data formats. Don’t make them have to put in a request.

Set My Data Free

Lord have mercy on me a sinner

Hush...Your Mama Loves You

 Hush little baby,
Your momma is coming back soon
Trust me now baby
I’m working so hard for you
I know your daddy is gone
Maybe your daddy was wrong
Listen now baby,
Your momma will take care of you

You know I love you
I’d move a mountain with my hands if I had to
Anything for you

Baby believe me

I hope you can see

That your momma loves you

I love you

Hush little sunshine
I’m on my way home to you
I’ll tuck you in
While I read you a story or two
No matter the day that I’ve had
Baby I miss you so bad
Listen my baby
Your momma will take care of you

This world is crazy

But you’ll be alright

You’ll grow up happy

And that’s all I’ll need in this life

All I need in my life

You know I love you
I’d move a mountain with my hands if I had to
Anything for you

Baby believe me

I hope you can see

That your momma loves you

I love you

Sometimes I feel

Like I can’t do enough
I’m just trying to catch up and be there
When you need me to be
And I don’t ever want to leave




You know I love you
I’d move a mountain with my hands if I had to
Anything for you

Baby believe me

I hope you can see

That your momma loves you

I love you

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner

Faithful and True

"When harmed, insulted or persecuted by someone, do not think of the present but wait for the future, and you will find He has brought you much good, not only in this life but also in the life to come." ~ St. Mark the Ascetic 

This year the Lord has been so good to me. I cannot even begin to list what He has done. All I know is that He helped me get through yet another year with too little income, a part-time student job, false accusations, and broken oaths.

I have my son, my home,  my degree, and a bright future.

He has fulfilled every word He promised to me on that cold October evening in 2007. How can I possibly believe He would fail me going forward into 2012 and beyond?

I am so thankful to Him for all of it. Even the hard parts, because the hard parts are where I grew the most. Now I am seeing the fruit of that growth and I cannot fathom what else there might be in store for me come tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

God has been so good to me. Thank You, Father for the mercy You had on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading
St Mark the Ascetic
Something's Comin'
Isaiah 54
Isaiah 62

Genius Defined

"Genius is neither learned nor acquired.
It is knowing without experience.
It is risking without fear of failure.
It is perception without touch.
It is is understanding without research.
It is certainty without proof
It is ability without practice.
It is invention without limitations.
It is imagination without boundaries.
It is creativity without constraints.
It is...extraordinary intelligence!
"I want you all to write that on the blackboard. Post it on your mirrors. Look at it everyday. Memorize it! The definition describes every one of you."
~ Mrs. Peterson

Junkyard Wonders, Patricia Polacco

Master of Library Science...Cum Laude!

I have received the Masters of Library Science from North Carolina Central University School of Library Science with all the rights, privileges and honors pertaining thereto!

Praise God! It has been a long time coming, especially this semester. It seemed as if the entire universe was conspiring to keep me from attaining this goal that I had set for myself last year.

The Lord has been so good to me. He has fought so many of my battles for me, provided all of the things I needed (and some of the things I wanted) for myself and my son. He has surrounded me with so many good and loving friends who have stood by me and encouraged me through thick and thin. Without my friends I would be in dire straits, believe you me.

There is no way I can ever thank Him enough for all He has done thus far. He has indeed proven Himself strong to me. He is indeed faithful and true, in spite of what I feel or think, and He has shown that no matter what, He is able to make things intended by others for evil to become good.

Almighty God, our Help and Refuge, Fountain of wisdom and Tower of strength, who 

knows that I can do nothing without Your guidance and help; assist me, I pray, and direct me to divine wisdom and power, that I may accomplish the tasks set before me, and whatever I may undertake to do, faithfully and diligently, according to Your will, so that it may be profitable to myself and others, and to the glory of Your Holy Name. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit: now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

Amen 

Please pray that I may obtain this, most-holy Lady and Birth-giver of God, through your intercessions and mediations, by the grace and exceeding great love of your Only-Begotten son, my Lord and God and Savior, Jesus Christ, to Whom is due, with the eternal Father and the All-Holy, Good and Life-Giving Spirit, all honor and glory and worship, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. 

Amen.

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner

Relevant Reading

2 Chronicles 16:9 (NKJV)

Hebrews 10:23

Isaiah 54