Cognitive Dissonance

I have a problem. Or perhaps it's not a problem. I dunno. I only know that I am too tired to deal with my brain right now.

I love science but sometimes when I watch/listen to non-fiction science/biology documentaries or books I experience a lot of cognitive dissonance about my entire life. I feel like a deer in headlights because I know and understand both my faith and science to be true but it's hard to reconcile them or even let them run orthogonally in my head. And then I get...irritable because I feel like I'm betraying one by accepting the other.

I am the same politically. I have the lamentable ability to see the facets of various hot-button issues as being on a scale of validity that kind of forces me to walk a tightrope. I have no problems arguing for (or against) any angle (except abject idiocy and/or insane behavior). I am by nature very conservative but some Republican/Right leaning policy/advocacy is just as disgusting to me as a lot of Democratic/Left leaning policy/advocacy.

And let's just not get started on the incestuous nature of religion and politics in this country. Sometimes after hearing some of the advocates (from BOTH sides of the aisle) go on and on about God this and Jesus that, I just really want to take a shower. You cannot proclaim Christ without following the tenets He and the Apostles and their disciples taught. Likeswise, you also cannot proclaim Christ and refuse to DO what He and the Apostles and their disciples taught .

I know I said that twice. Conservatives and Liberals need to take note. It's not a frakkin' buffet, y'all. You cannot advocate some of the New Testament and not acknowledge the other part as equally valid and advocate against those. If you do you're as big a hypocrite as I am. And that's pretty damn huge. All these pet "Jesus said" issues get on my nerves.

Sorry...Bit of a soap box there. I'll get down now.

Of course then my next plan is to go find more information about the things that are bugging me...And my brain starts to hurt. There is no end to the data that is out there on any given subject. Data, opinion, interpretation...You name it it's out there and it. Does. Not. Help. In fact it really makes things worse because by the time it's done I just want to smack people for being stupid.

All of these things make it hard for me to put up with a lot of the more, ah, hmm...I'm going to go with "zealous" as opposed to "rabid"....people in this land. But they also make it hard for me inside my own head. Especially when something that is true butts up against my understanding of something else which is also true.

So then I kind of back into a corner, erect a barricade of pillows and My Little Pony memes and hide under a blanket with lots of books, sugar and wine because I just can't handle it anymore.

There has got to be a better way to deal with this but right now prayer, church, ponies, urban fantasy, documentaries, and wine seem to be getting me through. Particularly the wine.

I'd like to not have to deal with my own brain sometimes. I really would.

God only knows what it is.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading
What is Cognitive Dissonance

My Delight Is in Her

Icon of the Life of St Mary of Egypt

He brought me out into a broad place;
   he delivered me, because he delighted in me.
Psalm 18:19

‘Commit your cause to the Lord; let him deliver—
   let him rescue the one in whom he delights!’
Psalm 22:8

Let those who desire my vindication
   shout for joy and be glad,
   and say evermore,
‘Great is the Lord,
   who delights in the welfare of his servant.’
Psalm 35:27

You shall no more be termed Forsaken,
   and your land shall no more be termed Desolate;
but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her,
   and your land Married;
for the Lord delights in you,
   and your land shall be married.
Isaiah 62:4

And Mary said,

Theotokos, Protectressof the Oppressed

‘My soul magnifies the Lord,
   and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour,
for he has looked with favour on the lowliness of his servant.
   Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for the Mighty One has done great things for me,
   and holy is his name.
His mercy is for those who fear him
   from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm;
   he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
He has brought down the powerful from their thrones,
   and lifted up the lowly;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
   and sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
   in remembrance of his mercy,
according to the promise he made to our ancestors,
   to Abraham and to his descendants for ever.’
Luke 1:46-55

May God have mercy on me, a sinner!

Relevant Reading
Psalm 18:19
Psalm 22:8
Psalm 35:27
Isaiah 62:4
Luke 1:46-55

When Lent Makes You Nuts

So we're midway through and frankly I think this has to be the weirdest Lenten season I have experienced to date. Granted, I am only 7 years old (converted 2 March 2008) but this one takes the cake for weird thus far.

"How weird is weird?" you ask.

Well, the season began the last week of February and immediately all kinds of snowy, icy hell broke loose. Almost all of the Clean Week services were cancelled due to the weather being bad and roads icy.

The first Sunday of Lent, called Sunday of Orthodoxy, Divine Liturgy was cancelled due to icy roads but somehow I did not get the memo that the evening Pan Orthodox vesperal services for Sunday of Orthodoxy was NOT cancelled, By the time I figured it out (that is actually read my email) services were half over and the twenty minute drive to church would have rendered it moot for me anyway.

Second week...more snow. More cancelled services. The Sunday of St Gregory of Palamas liturgy was on and I attended but somehow everything was just plain off. And let's not discuss the choir. I have no idea what happened there.

Then this week there is a soccer issue. [vent] I have no idea what it is with soccer leagues that they simply MUST schedule games before noon on a Sunday. WTH is that about anyway? I'm sorry some of us do not worship at the altar of FIFA nor make sacrifices to Messi and Ronaldo. The thing is if Yon Boy misses a game or a practice he gets penalized because soccer is the end all and be all of life. So I entered into negotiations so that my son isn't penalized because the soccer league is run by a bunch of irreligious folk who have no regard for those who actually have a conviction. Having to do that left me feeling rather hypocritical and frustrated.  And don't say find another league, they are all pretty much run by secularists and who don't give a flying fart about such things because...soccer. Trust me, I would have picked a different sport altogether. [/vent]

Yeah I said it. Don't like it? I hate it for you. Option 1: Don't read it. Option 2: Get over it.

So we are now entering the Halfway Point. Sunday of the Holy Cross and I've been pretty much expecting a volcano, or earthquake, or meteor strike or sharks falling from the sky or something equally bizarre to happen. Then a friend said, "It's just Lent being Lent. Stuff happens all the time but it doubles up during Lent." And she is right. Lent has been and will always be a time of testing and temptation, of the passions trying to supercede the virtues. But what did God say? He said we'd always be tested, always be tempted. But He said there would always be a way out of those temptations. The idea is not to let those passions distract into making excuses to sin.

The holy fathers call these idle thoughts and instincts and dispositions to sin "passions" (logismoi), and they come to the front of the mind when you are trying (under your own power) to become holy and good and sinless. Here's the thing about that...You can't. So all this stuff comes up that makes you stumble and all it is is you getting in the way of the Holy Spirit working humility and love in you.

So...how does one get through it and "move along home"? Since the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy us as we try to get home, throwing obstacles in our path and shutting doors on us as we try, how's person supposed to get from point A to point B without succumbing to some random temptation or passion and blowing up the nearest idiot's house?

The Desert Fathers had a response.

Saying number 714:

"Answer: When a logismos occurs in the soul and she [the soul] is able (by making a great effort) to expel it, another one comes and occupies her, and in this way, the soul opposing logismoi never has any time for the contemplation of God.
"Question: By what procedure can a logismos be referred to God?"
"Answer: If a logismos...comes upon you, immediately detach your mind from it and vigorously offer it up without hesitation, for hesitation is where conceding begins"
"Question: if a logismos of conceit that one has done well overcomes the soul, ought not the mind to contradict it?"
"Answer: No matter when one contradicts it, it becomes stronger and more violent. It finds more than you do to refute with, and the Holy Spirit does not supply aid to that extent. You find yourself in the situation of one who says "I am sufficient in myself to fight against the passions." Just as he who has a spiritual father casts all his concern upon him and is without care in all things and no longer in fear of judgement by God, so he who has dedicated himself to God ought not to be concerned by logismoi, to refute them or to allow them any place whatsoever to come into. And if one should get in, lift it up to your father and say "I have no trouble with this, look, here is my Father; He knows," and while you are still lifting it up half way, it has left you and is running away, for it will not be able to come to him with you. In the whole Church, there is not one activity greater than this one or more carefree."
~ (Will attribute and link when I find the citation. All I have is the quote right now.)

 Note to self. Emphasis mine.

Now I just need to remember that. I have a Spiritual Father and Godmother whom I often go to and cast my cares upon. They are my spiritual support system and have been doing this Lent crazy far longer than I have. I'll bet this year doesn't even ping on their radar.

Icon of All Saints

But as I said to my son today, we are also enjoined to pray (lift up the thought/temptation/logismoi) to God and He will remove it for us or show us how to conquer it. But we have to ask. And we are surrounded by the Great Cloud of Witnesses who are always praying to God. Why do we not ask their prayers? St Joseph is quick to hear as is the Theotokos (called She who is Quick to Hear) and the Archangel Gabriel and all the saints, known and unknown. What keeps us from asking their assistance when Lent (or any other time of the year) doesn't go according to plan?

Ummm....sloth, faint-heartedness, love of power, idle talk come to mind. Which is precisely what we ask God to remove when we pray the prayer of St Ephraim the Syrian which is the central prayer during the Lenten season. Frankly, I think it probably should be the central prayer of my personal rule all year long. If you haven't noticed, I'm somewhat of a hot mess and I readily acknowlege this fact.

O Lord and Master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth, despair, lust of power, and idle talk. But give rather the spirit of chastity, humility, patience, and love to Thy servant. 
Yea, O Lord and King, grant me to see my own sins, and not to judge my brother, 
for blessed art Thou, unto ages of ages. 
Amen.

If one has tools in one's tool box it would behoove one to use them, would it not?

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading
Sunday of Orthodoxy
Sunday of St Gregory of Palamas
Sunday of the Holy Cross
What are Passions?
Move Along Home - ST: DS9 (S1E10)

Have You Ever Cried for Snow?

God thunders wondrously with his voice;
   he does great things that we cannot comprehend.
For to the snow he says, “Fall on the earth”;
   and the shower of rain, his heavy shower of rain,
serves as a sign on everyone’s hand,
   so that all whom he has made may know it.

 Then the animals go into their lairs
   and remain in their dens.
From its chamber comes the whirlwind,
   and cold from the scattering winds.
By the breath of God ice is given,
   and the broad waters are frozen fast.
He loads the thick cloud with moisture;
   the clouds scatter his lightning.

Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,
  or have you seen the storehouses of the hail?

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
   and do not return there until they have watered the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
   giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
   it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
   and succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

I cried for the snow tonight. I stood on my porch and watched the snow fall and thought, "Thank you, Father, for the snow. It's so beautiful. It makes such a lovely noise. The cold is bracing and reminds me to appreciate the warmth of my home and not take it for granted. Thank you."

Lord have mercy on me a sinner.

Relevant Reading
Job 37
Job 38
Isaiah 55:10-13
Snowdrop

For Such a Time as This...A Pep Talk

In this icon is Esther, the Jewish queen of the Persian king Ahasuerus (aka Xerxes I) during the Medo Persian empire. She was of the people who remained in Babylon after the Jews returned to Israel. Her story is the basis of the Jewish celebration of Purim.

She holds in her hand a prayer for the safety of her people against Haman who wanted to destroy the Jewish people who remained in Persia. At first she was afraid to do this, to approach the king without his express invitation could mean instant death, but her uncle said to her:

"For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father’s family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this."
Esther 4:14

Fearful, Esther took these as her marching orders and went forth to ask the King for his help. And he gave it, allowing the Jews to defend themselves and executing the evil Haman on his own gallows.

Something has come up and it is my turn to step up to the plate. I'm...nervous. A little afraid. But the Theotokos said:

...the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name. His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts. He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly...
Luke 1:49-52

And years ago God said to me:

And now, my daughter, do not be afraid; I will do for you all that you ask, for all the assembly of my people know that you are a worthy woman.
Ruth 3:11

Enlarge the site of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. And also:

Enlarge the site of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes...In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you. If anyone stirs up strife, it is not from me; whoever stirs up strife with you shall fall because of you.
Isaiah 54:2, 14-15

Now that I have these words firmly in my mind again, and the testimony of God's actual actions on my behalf over the past almost 8 years. Why do I need to be afraid? God is at my right hand and as long as I remain with Him, I have no need to fear.

Thank you Father for your faithfulness. Forgive my faithlessness, forgive me! I believe! Help my unbelief! And please have mercy on me, a sinner!

Relevant Reading
Esther 4
The Magnificat
Ruth 3:11
Isaiah 54

Walking into the Door Jamb of Repentance

Meatfare is in three days which means Lent is only 10 days away.

And I am, as usual, so not ready.

I was thinking recently that I'm a mess. I do not even know how to repent even when my sin is right in front of me. I feel righteous even in the proclamation of my sin. Oh  Lord, how do I even begin to repent? I mean, it's ridiculous, why even try? I'm sitting here and the whole thing is a morass that I can't even begin to climb out of, let alone try to list and enumerate for a "good confession" (whatever that means).

And the more I set out to change and be better the worse it gets! Do not get me started on New Year's Resolutions. Those things have gone by the way side years ago. I mean why even bother when I know for a fact I am just going to say, "Screw it" and do whatever anyway. It's a bit discouraging to say the very least. And I am supposed to set an example for my son? God help him because my life as an object lesson definitely won't.

I am of the flesh, sold into slavery under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do what is good, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.

Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Because I need some serious rescuing.

Not so much when you come to think about it

I like to think of myself as a Self-Rescuing Princess. I've totally had figure out how to get myself out of some pretty deep doo-doo in the past few years while at the same time trying to maintain a good demeanor and reminding myself that not all friends are enemies in disguise but most actually do want
to help and holding on to bitterness and anger isn't the way forward. I know this. It has been proven to me over and over again that one rotten apple does not spoil the whole bunch...But I still have this thing in me that says, "I can do it myself" like some demented, over-grown, spoiled brat toddler insisting on picking out my own clothes five minutes before my parents need to leave the house.

But.., when push comes to shove...I didn't get me out of those holes. A way was made for me by Someone who heard the prayers of so many people for me. People here below and those members of the Great Cloud of Witnesses who have seen I need some serious help here below.

Now it is my turn to do the work God has set aside for me to do in order to that I work out my salvation. I do so with much fear and trembling (and hopefully less complaining than I have been doing.) But in this way I will hopefully prove my faith is alive and it will be counted to me as righteousness, not just because I believe but because I am willing to prove it but working it.

It's hard to do this, I'm lazy and I am not fond of leaving home once I am here. I admit it. I would much prefer to be at home on my sofa, reading or fiddle farting around on teh interwebz, and just generally being a lump of uselessness. As Dr Phil is fond of saying however, that is not working for me anymore. There is too much to be done to rest on my laurels There are too many people who invested in me for me to not get up off my rusty dusty and prove that I am the woman God called worthy and renamed so many years ago.

My rescuer is God. He comes to me from the hills, never sleeping and never slumbering but making me able to stand against so many things that have come against me over the years so that I stand vindicated before those who would come against me. But it is not through any doing of my own. St Elizabeth and St Joseph and my mom and grandmother and family, blood and chosen, here on earth have had my back for years. Archangel Gabriel and the Theotokos looked after my son so that the words meant for me about my son prospering would be so.

And God has proven again and again that my delight in Him and in His Word and in His Church will see me through because He has called me from desolation to vindication and it is only by His word and will that this is true. My repentance, if so small before Him, is nothing compared to all He has done, and yet that is all He asks of me. My repentance and my obedience born from my love for Him. How could I not?

Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!















Lord have mercy on me a sinner!

Relevant Reading
Romans 7:14-24
Romans 7:14-25
Ephesians 2:8-10
Philippians 2:12-15
James 2:14-26
Called Worthy by God
Ruth 3:11
To Whom it May Concern
Psalm 121
Isaiah 54
Isaiah 62

The Shortest Twenty-Five Years Ever

Icon of the Resurrection aka, the Harrowing of Hades

Twenty five years ago this month my grandmother (Suggie) went to be with the Lord. Five years later, my mother joined her. Today they are part of the Great Cloud of Witnesses who surround us on every side. They, like the great named and unnamed saints of God, are "are near to the believing heart, and are ready in a moment to help those who call upon them with faith and love." (St John of Krondstadt) I often ask their prayers and the prayers of my other relatives who have gone to stand before the Lord. They were my first teachers and disciplinarians after all. Why should I not continue asking their advice? 

And talk about full of awesome! They both made it a point to wake up and remind themselves and anyone who questioned them that they both were somebody 'cos God don't make no junk!

Today, my church sang the Memorial Service for both mom and Suggie along with two other women. I felt the tears try to come but then I looked up at the Icon of the Resurrection and they faded away. After all, Christ has bestowed life upon those in the tomb who believed and so they are with Him. But being with Him has not made them forget me. They remember me and pray for me, therefore I remember them and pray for them, that their sins be forgiven and they are given life eternal in a place of rest.

Suggie, Mom, and Dingdy

Remember the souls of Thy servants, O Lord, for Thou art good, and insofar as they sinned in this life, forgive them; for no one is sinless but Thee, Who canst also give rest to the departed.

With the Saints, give rest, O Christ, to the souls of Thy servants, where there is no pain, no sorrow, no sighing, but life everlasting. 

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading
Hebrews 12:1-10
St John of Krondstadt on the Daily Invocation of the Saints
Waking Up Full of Awesome
Reading the Icon of the Resurrection (there is a list of the saints surrounding Christ in the comments on this page)

When I Cried for Help, the Lord Heard, and Rescued Me From ALL My Troubles

Then Raphael called the two of them privately and said to them, "Bless God and acknowledge him in the presence of all the living for the good things he has done for you. Bless and sing praise to his name. With fitting honour declare to all people the deeds of God. Do not be slow to acknowledge him. It is good to conceal the secret of a king, but to acknowledge and reveal the works of God, and with fitting honour to acknowledge him. Do good, and evil will not overtake you. Prayer with fasting is good, but better than both is almsgiving with righteousness. A little with righteousness is better than wealth with wrongdoing. It is better to give alms than to lay up gold. For almsgiving saves from death and purges away every sin. Those who give alms will enjoy a full life, but those who commit sin and do wrong are their own worst enemies."

~ St. Raphael the Archangel, Tobit 12:6-10

As 2014 comes to a close I think I am going to take this as my advice for the new year. This year has flat out sucked at times. Like a Dyson. I mean seriously. My "Head Librarian" for 75% of the year was a Napoleonic termagent with delusions of grandeur and all the tact and refinement of a New York taxi driver but then I got laid off from the job that was not only part time but paid peanuts. My car is a hot mess, and don't talk to me about the hole I am in financially due to some choices SO not of my own making, More than once this year I had to choose between being medicated and feeding my kid or eating and having lights, water, and heat. You talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul and lying to Mary about the check in the mail? I didn't even bother. What was the point? I just told the collectors I didn't have the money and I'd get it to them when I did, and if they didn't stop asking me dumb questions I was going to stop answering the phone.

But then I look back and I see that whenever there was a difficulty...There was a way out. My church and priest came through for me on so many occasions. There is nothing like being part of a church that truly believes that they cannot say to the poor, "Go in peace, be warm, eat your fill" (James 2:15-17) without helping them, practically, with the means to do so.

At my job, I had so many coworkers and students who made my day joyful and bright that, Napoleonic termagent or no, I loved to go to work. For the first time in my entire twenty-five years of working, I did not go to bed thinking up ways not to go to work.

After I was laid off, I had time to think, pray, and plan. In that time I had the opportunity to take a (finanically inadequate) position in my home state. After some consultation with some of the wisest folks I know, I was determined to stay where I am. Why? Because this is where I truly believe God wants me. My son is here. My church is here. And as much as I love my blood family, the family I chose is here. So, in faith, I trusted God and turned down what seemed like the only port in a storm that had raged for the last seven years.

Then I met St Joseph. Again. A few years ago, after being sincerely disillusioned by the evProtestant church, I was on my journey to find my spiritual home. At the time, I was considering Roman Catholicism (and I still have a great fondness for several saints of the RC church because they pointed me East to Orthodoxy, but that is another blog post) and I was in dire straits at home. I asked, for the first time, the help of St Joseph and he came through like a champ. During the past few months, I read over and over the words of other saints who took St Joseph as their "advocate and comforter". To quote St Teresa of Avila,

"His aid has brought me more good than I ever desired to receive from him. ...I am quite amazed at the great favors Our Lord has given me, and the many dangers, both of soul and body, from which He has delivered me through the intercession of this blessed saint! 

I had heeded the advice of St Teresa in the past but now both she and St Faustina, whose Diary I read during this time, pointed me toward the foster-father of Our Lord.

And once again, St Joseph's prayers availed much. Within a week of my first prayer asking for his intercession on my behalf, I ran into an old classmate who told me about a position where he was working and that they were in need of help. I applied and a few weeks later I had the interview and today I have a job that pays so miuch more than I ever thought I would earn. It more than doubles the salary at my old position, and is almost twice as much as the job I turned down. My manager is a decent human being who understands that  you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and my co-workers are just a fun a group as the ones I left.

Because of this position I will be able not only to repay my church, not because I "owe" them or because of a debt hanging over my head, but because I know how important it is for that well to remain as full as possible so that others can benefit from the practical as well as the spiritual help Fr N and All Saints can provide for them.

And now I will be able to give alms. It has been a pain to me to not be able to give to those I see who are in need. I have had so many friends who gave me money, paid a bill, put gas in my car, fixed my car, fed me, bought my meds...Whatever. They did not ask for repayment but now that I can I will and I will also be able to pay it forward in the little ways that help a person get by from day to day.

On top of all that, another blessing in disguise was given to me. It was wrapped in what felt at the time like yet another attempt to take something away from me but now, looking back, I see that it was another answered prayer. I asked a long time ago for my freedom and to be left alone. And now I have received this and it is a load off that I never realized I was carrying. I can only thank God for His infinite wisdom in this particular thing.

I. AM. FREE.

I will bless the Lord at all times;
   his praise shall continually be in my mouth. 
My soul makes its boast in the Lord;
   let the humble hear and be glad. 
O magnify the Lord with me,
   and let us exalt his name together. 
I sought the Lord, and he answered me,
   and delivered me from all my fears. 
Look to him, and be radiant;
   so your* faces shall never be ashamed. 
This poor soul cried, and was heard by the Lord,
   and was saved from every trouble. 
The angel of the Lord encamps
   around those who fear him, and delivers them. 
O taste and see that the Lord is good;
   happy are those who take refuge in him. 
O fear the Lord, you his holy ones,
   for those who fear him have no want. 
The young lions suffer want and hunger,
   but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. 
Come, O children, listen to me;
   I will teach you the fear of the Lord. 
Which of you desires life,
   and covets many days to enjoy good? 
Keep your tongue from evil,
   and your lips from speaking deceit. 
Depart from evil, and do good;
   seek peace, and pursue it. 
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
   and his ears are open to their cry. 
The face of the Lord is against evildoers,
   to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. 
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears,
   and rescues them from all their troubles. 
The Lord is near to the broken-hearted,
   and saves the crushed in spirit. 
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
   but the Lord rescues them from them all. 
He keeps all their bones;
   not one of them will be broken. 
Evil brings death to the wicked,
   and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. 
The Lord redeems the life of his servants;
   none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.
~Psalm 34

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, please continue to have mercy on me, a sinner.

Relevant Reading 
The Book of Tobit
Tobit 12:6-10
Archangel Raphael and the Book of Tobit
James 2:15-17
A Prayer for Divine Mercy

Freedom

There are times when we are set free and do not even know it. In fact, we kick and scream and fight to be free...and yet are. We protest against the very thing we want and never see it for the blessing it is. A freedom. A release. FINALLY, a release from a bondage we never realized we were under.

God does these things for us, for me, and in my indignation of how it appears...I refuse it. I throw the very freedom I cried, sweated, and bled for back in His face. Because it did not come in a way that I thought it should come.

Well, not today. Today, I realize I AM FREE and I will not be burdened again under a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

I sought the LORD, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.(Psalm 34:4)

In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and He answered by setting me free. (Psalm 118:5)

Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. (Psalm 142:7)

"Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good..." (Genesis 50:20).

Years ago the Lord said to me, "And now, my daughter, do not be afraid; I will do for you all that you ask, for all the assembly of my people know that you are a worthy woman." (Ruth 3:11) And I asked to be free. I asked to be released and the Lord has done all this and more for me! How could I not praise His Name? He said to me,

"You shall no more be termed Forsaken,
        and your land shall no more be termed Desolate;
but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her,
        and your land Married;
for the Lord delights in you,
        and your land shall be married."(Isaiah 62:4)

For He has delivered me from all my troubles, and my eyes have looked in triumph on my foes. (Psalm 54:7)

Almighty and merciful God, I most humbly and heartily thank Your divine majesty for Your loving kindness and tender mercies, that You have heard my humble prayer, and graciously granted me deliverance from my trouble and misery. I pray to you to continue granting Your helping grace, that I may lead a life pleasing to You, that I may continually offer to You a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving, O Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 

Amen.

Lord I can never thank you enough for the mercy you have had on me, a sinner.

Of These Things I Am Sure

My mother would be proud of me. My father is proud of me. Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death and upon those in the tombs, He has bestowed His light. And St Joseph the Betrothed of the Theotokos, foster father of God, prays on my behalf.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son Of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.